These Days…

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There are days I wonder if I’ll make it past the moment my head hits the pillow after my alarm goes off.  Days I sit there praying…screaming really, to God and at myself for just eight MORE hours of sleep.

Most of these days, I take a shower, have a cup of coffee and feel relatively normal.  But it’s those days, like today, I always sense a bit of a cage around me.  It lingers, threatening to lock, but then it opens, bright patches of moments bringing relief.

Have you ever seen this photograph taken by Wojtek Kwiatkowski?

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I came across it while searching for prints for my daughter’s room, and for some reason, I couldn’t stop gazing at it.  It’s absolutely stunning to me.  In fact, I thought it was a painting at first.  The detail, and the beauty of it seemed so impossible to capture in a moment that I thought this must have been thought up in someone’s mind and accomplished with skill and a brush.

This horse, she’s gorgeous, and free to do whatever she wants.  It seems though that she carries the weight of responsibility along with her.  Something in her eyes made me realize that, no, I don’t believe she is actually free.  She belongs to someone, she may be a mother weaning her foal, or just back from a long, hard cattle drive.  I see a heavy burden in her eyes, a concern of some sort.  I’m touched by this moment that has been captured by such a skilled photographer.

It’s strange, then, to know that a friend of mine saw this same picture and thought it to be full of spunk, thrill, and adventure!

Perhaps it’s even more strange that I am searching the web for prints of this photo that reminds me of a burden I carry, and struggle to let go of.  (Which, if you are interested, can check out the “fiction” version, HERE) Part of the cage threatening to close in.

The days like these, which pass slowly, have been hard to accept, but I’m learning that perspective truly is everything.  Some day, I might see this horse as being just as beautifully happy as my friend does.  Until then, though, I’ve learned that the days may be rough, but they are lovely.  I learn to invest further into the outlets that I can pour into, such as this, without judgement, without worry, and knowing that the words I write, the stitches I knit, or the tickles I give wouldn’t be as special if it weren’t for going through these changing seasons.

Take heart, if you are feeling the same way…delve into the word, surround yourself with people who will tell you truth, which is that we were made for days like these…days we spend fighting for life, searching for joy.

-Hope

I’m linking up for the first time at Hope for the Weary Mom – which has been an amazing encouragement to me for quite a while now 🙂  Check it out here!

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